Hello dear readers,

I’ve had several people I’ve spoken to lately bring up the topic of getting over the fear of beginning and early transition. So, for those of you who are just starting out, or just considering it? You’ll want to read this one.

Getting over fear. Building confidence. That’s a huge thing to tackle, but relax a little, take a deep breath, this is one that takes time, that doesn’t happen all at once. I’ll be honest, early transition is really scary. That’s just the world we live in. We don’t know how others will react, how we’ll feel as we change, it feels like a huge leap of faith no matter what, and at times.. it is.

But.. The goal is worth it. And the -need- to step onto that path grows over time, no matter how scary it is. And that first step can be terrifying. It can go well, it can go really badly.. But once you take it, and the dust settles.. you find yourself still standing. You know you did it, and that’s something important. Think of that knowledge as a pebble that you toss into a jar.

And when you take the next step? It’s still scary. But.. you can give your jar a little shake, and the sound of the pebble in it that reminds you of the fear you overcame before. That helps. And once again, you find yourself still standing at the end. Maybe you feel great, maybe you’re a little battered and tired.. but you’re still on your feet. And you get another pebble in your jar.

With each step you take, you get to add another pebble. And when the next step looms, give your jar a little shake. Hear the sound of all those pebbles, feel the weight of them. Proof of your commitment, of your determination, of your strength, even if you never knew you had any. You begin to see what you are capable of, and your faith in yourself grows.

Steps may still be scary, but they’re easier to take because you have proof you can do scary things, because you have enjoyed the rewards of your earlier commitment.

And eventually? It’s just not as scary any more. Things that used to scare me in early transition are now anything from soothingly mundane to warmly affirming. I went from being terrified when people looked at me, to enjoying being seen and walking through life with a whole new strut.

So.. If you’ve ever looked at a proud trans person and marveled at their sense of confidence in their self, or their gender.. If you’ve ever felt like you could never be like that…

You can.
You will.

It doesn’t happen all at once, but for now, just focus on getting that next pebble in your jar. That’s all you ever have to do, and I promise you, it’s worth it, and it gets -so- much better.